dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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