What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
