So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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