I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
