Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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(513): View more from Ohio

you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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(973): View more from New Jersey

all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.

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(718): View more from New York

we need to drink 2009 down the drain

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.

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(949): View more from California

Just try and act like you're sober

(1-949): View more from California

I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots

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