just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
