i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
