one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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