HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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