coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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