Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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