Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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