Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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