he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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