I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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