break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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