last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have post one night stand depression
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