I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just tell him i said nine months
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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