so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
