you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I need a beard to bite.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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