If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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