Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
