He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
