if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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