wat bout pragnant strippers??
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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