i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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