ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
