I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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