She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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