Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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