dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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