Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
