Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize