just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
