There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
