Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
