Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
