The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
