was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
