I puked a lego.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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