MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
