Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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