you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
