What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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