i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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