Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
