dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
