She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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