Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
