I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
