That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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